You might be thinking... now what is this? Well sometime last year a friend and I constructed this motto for simple Twitter enjoyment. You could say we started a mini movement of individuals "being bold" and not being afraid to go after the individuals that they are interested in. Now you would think that with me standing at the front of this movement, that I would know how to carry the motto through, but to be honest it serves as a friendly reminder of my inner insecurities. I have never been the type to express interest in guys that I like. Not because I feel it is "un-ladylike" or "thirsty" but simply because of the great fear of rejection. I have actually had people tell me that I like guys that are out of my league. How rude right?? But I took those words to heart. Whenever I develop a crush I find myself questioning if they are too much of a reach for me. It's kind of miserable but it is something I am working on. I have an ample amount of guy friends but I have talked to no one that I was interested in since I have been in college due to a fear of rejection. I know that rejection is something that you have to deal with but it is also a harsh reality, one that I try to dodge continuously. But as I stated, I am a work in progress. I am now finding ways to be more confident in myself and not fear putting myself out there. It is going to be a hard road but.... ya girl can't stay single forever. Guess it is time to put my motto to use and be bold. Hmmm.... we will see how that goes. Be Bold Today.
Keeping Track: A Handy Dandy NotebookVisual RewardsHappy Easter Sunday! So here I am stuck at work on this glorious day. But as I was sitting at the desk, I watched a live stream of my church and my pastor touched on some very important topics. One thing that he said that really stuck out to me was his spill on new beginnings. This is something that I have been preaching to myself for forever it seems, but for some reason it sounded much more reassuring to hear my pastor talk about it. He spoke of how it is okay to start a new beginning with a new line of hope. Let go of the past and the things that seem to be holding you back because today you can choose to be born again and start a new life fresh. Now I won't preach to you because that isn't my calling, but I just wanted to share that with you. Fresh StartSo I have decided that I will begin a healthier lifestyle tomorrow. This is something I seriously struggle with. I will start a good workout regimen, eat better, lose about 5 pounds and just give up. I did some analyzing of myself and have realized just why this continues to happen to me. It's like I will be doing so good then I just give up with a " Why even try anymore" mentality. This stems from never feeling like I am good enough. It's kinda like, why would I continue to lose weight.... who's gonna want me even if I do lose weight? Why should I lose weight just so people like me more? Why should that have to be my only resort to feeling accepted or beautiful in the eyes of others?
But after some hard self reflection I realized my real issue. I was wanting to get "healthy" and lose weight for others and not myself. I was wanting to shed pounds for acceptance and the fulfillment of feeling beautiful. I have decided to pursue a healthier lifestyle for no one else but myself. I realize that I am not treating my body like the temple it is and it is time for a change. In my next post I will illustrate in images how I plan to keep track of my progress. Stay tuned for updates! And so it begins... my very first post. It took me a while to decide on what to right on because my mind is currently all over the place. But I have decided so here it goes... IntroductionThis is normally the part of the book with all of the shout outs that no one reads but I will simply use it to introduce myself. I am currently a sophomore in college desperately trying to find myself. I change my mind on what I want to do after graduation atleast 5 times a week. I am also not the biggest fan of college in general, I personally feel that I can learn more from socially conscious documentaries on netflix and black twitter but hey... that's just me. I have been wanting to start a blog for a while but I couldn't exactly think of what to write about. I though hmm... natural hair! But that avenue is taken. Then I though music.... but I have too many unpopular music opinions to be successful. I then thought to myself is there really a blog out there that I can relate to? Is there anyone out there who feels the same way that I do? I have struggled with my self esteem my entire life and always felt that it was something I had to mask. I always felt ashamed of my lack of confidence. I often times thought that I had to be the only person that could look in the mirror and pick myself apart bit by bit. There couldn't be anyone who doubts themselves as much as me. I was always living life content with being average because I never thought I could be anything but average. I know now that I am much more than average and I have decided to embark on a journey to discover myself. It is my hope that with this blog I can find and connect with others going through similar situations and that they will hope on board with me. I am extraordinary and it is time that I recognize the things that make me... me! Hope you come back for new posts!
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